Don is remarkably accepting about his condition.  (He puts this down to his background of Presbyterian Calvinism...)  Doesn't complain, doesn't go on about all that he has lost, all that he can't do.  Yes, there are times of real despair, such as my blog post about a year ago, Psalm 46.  And he suffers from depression, which apparently is an intrinsic part of multiple sclerosis, although I am sure that the depression is also a normal consequence of living with the limitations of MS and the frightful future one faces.

But you can take facing reality only so far.  And lately, I have been having some very difficult visits with Don, because he wants me to drive him to Griffith in the Riverina, to visit his mother.  She is 97 years old, and is in a nursing home, and they tell us she has not been well.  Actually she is in better shape than Don in a lot of ways, as she is able for example to get herself to meals independently, with the aid of a walking frame.  But now it seems she is deteriorating.

At first I just did the usual thing of being rather vague, and expecting by next day it would not be raised again.  Don has raised the idea a number of times in the past, but has not persisted.  But now he will not drop the idea, and is insistent that we go to Griffith for one last visit to his mother before she dies.  And is quite pressing about it, and practical too, wanting me to bring a suitcase so we can pack his things, and working out what time we would need to leave to do the trip in one day, stay one night, and then drive back the next day.

So I said we would need to work it out with our son David to come with us, as I needed someone else to help get Don in and out of the car, wheelchair, bed, etc.  And that would probably mean bringing our 4-year-grandson as well, so not to be undertaken at the drop of a hat.

But staff told me it would not be feasible even with someone to help, but we would need to hire a lifter and other equipment at the other end.

Eventually I said to him, Look if we were able to go to Griffith and stay overnight, you would be living at home with me, because it would mean we could manage.  So he got a bit cross and said huffily that I was trying to make difficulties, that I just didn't want to go to Griffith.  My response was, that in fact I am more concerned about when his mother dies, because it seems unthinkable for us not to go her funeral, but I'm blowed if I know how we could do it.