Christmas Without Ham
Frankly, I didn't know it was compulsory to have ham at Christmas. When I was young, we had roast chicken (which Dad killed and dressed) with all the trimmings, and then plum pudding with money inside. Ham was never even considered. Of course, nowadays we usually have ham, among other things. But since we had invited a Muslim family for Christmas Day, it seemed reasonable to forego the ham. We still didn't exactly starve on the day, with turkey, cold leg of lamb, lots of salads, and then some special desserts.
But when I casually mentioned that we would be having a Muslim family for the day, and laughingly added, "So - ham's out!" I got some surprisingly strong reactions. "You should have the ham!" people scolded. "They don't have to eat the ham, they can eat something else! This is our country, these are our traditions, and we are not forcing them, but they need to realise how we do things."
I said mildly, "No, we don't have to have ham. There's plenty of other stuff we can have instead, it's not that important." But it was terribly important to some people and they would go on and on, insisting that I provide ham and that nobody would be forced to eat anything they didn't want.
I think if I was in another country and visiting a family who regularly ate, say, rat or dog, I would think it a courtesy if they served something else for the time that I was there.
Needless to say, I did get a small ham as well, which we hoed into on Boxing Day and thereafter.
Don is not as mentally sharp as he used to be (an understatement) and I don't know if that is a normal effect of MS and have not the courage to inquire. But on Christmas Day we asked him to say grace, and he did so with a great deal of sensitivity. He gave thanks for the day and the food, and for family and for new friends. And he hesitated briefly before finishing "In the name of God, Amen." He normally ends, "In Jesus' name", but clearly he wanted this to be a totally inclusive giving of thanks, a prayer that could be shared by everyone there.
This is Don about to say grace, but how come my picture is so lop-sided?
But when I casually mentioned that we would be having a Muslim family for the day, and laughingly added, "So - ham's out!" I got some surprisingly strong reactions. "You should have the ham!" people scolded. "They don't have to eat the ham, they can eat something else! This is our country, these are our traditions, and we are not forcing them, but they need to realise how we do things."
I said mildly, "No, we don't have to have ham. There's plenty of other stuff we can have instead, it's not that important." But it was terribly important to some people and they would go on and on, insisting that I provide ham and that nobody would be forced to eat anything they didn't want.
I think if I was in another country and visiting a family who regularly ate, say, rat or dog, I would think it a courtesy if they served something else for the time that I was there.
Needless to say, I did get a small ham as well, which we hoed into on Boxing Day and thereafter.
Don is not as mentally sharp as he used to be (an understatement) and I don't know if that is a normal effect of MS and have not the courage to inquire. But on Christmas Day we asked him to say grace, and he did so with a great deal of sensitivity. He gave thanks for the day and the food, and for family and for new friends. And he hesitated briefly before finishing "In the name of God, Amen." He normally ends, "In Jesus' name", but clearly he wanted this to be a totally inclusive giving of thanks, a prayer that could be shared by everyone there.
This is Don about to say grace, but how come my picture is so lop-sided?
With the same family background and Christmas memories as you, of course I too am bemused at the way ham seems to have become "de rigueur". Also I have a suspicion that many people oppose anything being done differently in order to make newcomers feel more "at home" -- the attitude that they should take on our ways totally is all too widespread.
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This indeed is a touching blog which points out some of basic manners which we should follow if we are having a family from a different culture as our guest. Here the author had invited a Muslim family during Christmas and Muslims, as we all know, don’t eat ham. So the author made it a point to remove it from the menu though there was some serious opposition from other family members. Her husband Don also made sure that they are in no way hurting the religious sentiments of the visiting family. This is indeed a wonderful blog which goes a long way in spreading the idea of religious harmony among people.
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